Walking with You, week 4

One area so many mothers struggle with is guilt, especially those who experience the loss of a baby/child. We want to address this struggle in this post. It will help mothers quietly battling guilt for living life and experiencing joy to know they are not alone. Other moms silently battle this as well. Whether it is the startling first time you really laugh after losing your child, or whether you have experienced the healing balm of joy for years, share your thoughts on this week’s post.

My guilt probably goes deeper than I know. Everyone tells me that it’s needless, and unfounded. If that’s true, why does it run so deep? Every mother has a bone-deep instinct, written into her DNA, to protect her child. There is no way to battle this, no way to overcome it. I think I can only learn to live with it, and speak soothing words to it, and not punish myself more for feeling it. The feeling of it is punishment enough. I know if I had another child, one who survived, I would feel this guilt in new, very fresh ways. That is a whole ‘nother struggle. At this point, I don’t think I’m experiencing much “joy” at all, so feeling guilt over that has not yet been an issue for me.


Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

4 thoughts on “Walking with You, week 4”

  1. I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I do think you learn to live with guilt but you can heal from it too. It may take a short time or a long time. You may heal completely or only a little. You just never know. As moms there is always something we feel guilty of whether our children are living or not.

  2. So sorry for your loss. As moms I think we will always feel guilt over something whether our children are living or not.

  3. Experiencing loss brings a whole new world of thoughts and feelings. I think guilt is a natural feeling we all feel at different times throughout our loss, and we somehow learn to live with each new day, that may be worse than the day before, but we always have our hope to hang onto, and each other…

    Thank you for sharing your heart.

  4. I am so sorry for your loss! I think the guilt will always be there {even if it is just a nudge in the back of your mind}. I hope that you can find joy, though, as more time passes. Hugs and love to you!

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