Nine months ago I told the universe to send me a baby, bio or foster. I got both. Nine months later, they are both gone. It’s surreal.
Universe, I’m ready again.
I read other foster blogs and just find myself staring at my phone, willing it to ring. I want the madness and craziness of foster care. I look back on my time with Moose, and the amazing little guy he is becoming, and I am so proud of the part I played in it. I’m very proud of his parents, too, and the wonderful job they’re doing. They grew up so much and became everything he needed in parents. He will probably never even know he was in foster care!
Nothing in the whole world will replace Avalon. Nothing will make me forget, for a second, how old she should be right now, how big my belly should be, and that May should’ve been the most important month in my life, and I know now it’s going to be one of the saddest. But I feel like a mom, and yet have no child. I want to have one, physically, in my arms.