baby showers

Co-worker at work is collecting things on pinterest for her sister-in-law’s baby shower. Sister-in-law isn’t even out of her first trimester.

I want to scream at everyone who talks about baby showers. What is WRONG with you people?!?!? How DARE you assume that being pregnant means you’re bringing home a real live baby? How dare you act as if you are luckier than me, different than me? How dare you be so fucking presumptuous, when I’m standing RIGHT HERE, a living breathing example that no one and nothing is safe?!

Today has been super hard. Like it just happened last week. I feel like I’m being punched in the gut continuously, life won’t give me a break. There’s not one moment I’m not being sliced in two or kicked in the head with my grief.

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

3 thoughts on “baby showers”

  1. With all due respect, I’m sure these people are not “acting as if they are luckier than you”, nor are they TRYING to make you feel bad. Women have babies, it happens all the time You cannot fault them for being pregnant. You are really sounding like you need some serious therapy. I know you are in pain and hurting, but getting down on people who are pregnant is not the safe route.

    1. These are normal feelings for baby loss moms to have. Obviously, I know that they in no way intended it that way and they also have every right to talk about having their babies. This blog is for feelings, and feelings are by nature sometimes irrational. If you read other baby loss blogs, you’ll see that most of us experience resentment that is otherwise irrational, because we are jealous that we did not get to have “normal” pregnancies and births. If you don’t believe me, ask a grief therapist.

      1. Perfectly natural response. I felt the same way when my cousin announced she was pregnant at 4 1/2 weeks. Grief is different for everyone. Do not judge things you cannot know. I cannot know anyone else’s grief even if we have been through the exact same situation. We all grieve differently, and if someone has a problem with that, they are the ones who need counseling.

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