I talk about her

I talk about my daughter. I mention her when I think it’s appropriate to mention it. I talk about my pregnancy, and my delivery. I don’t talk about it when it’s totally out of context or not relevant, but I bring her up. She was my baby, I was pregnant, and I refuse to act as though that’s not just as relevant as any other woman’s experience. I’m mortified when I read the blogs of other baby loss moms who feel that they can’t talk about their babies or the pregnancies. It would be horrible to me if my co-workers couldn’t handle references to my experience without grace and understanding.

My daughter is part of my reality. I wish more than anything that I had more reasons to talk about her, I wish I had new reasons every day, month and year. But she is my first baby, she was my first pregnancy, and the experience of carrying and delivering and losing her has been the most life-altering experience I’ve ever had. (And I’ve had a few.)

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

2 thoughts on “I talk about her”

  1. God blessed you with her. Albeit, not for long, but he blessed you with the ability to have a living being a part of you, growing, learning, and developing. If she was conceived, than God intended her to leave a mark in people’s lives, change perspectives, and teach people something….compassion, love, the preciousness that is every day we’re granted. She should be something you talk about, because you were special enough to be chosen as her mom. As time progresses, the stories will change, and she will become something more to you then as well. If people are afraid of talking about a baby that you lost, in a way not many will ever understand, than perhaps God is using you and Avalon to help change them, soften them, and give them more vulnerable feelings. Any story, any experience that is hard to listen to or hear, is usually one that is speaking to people the loudest, deepest.

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