how does my garden grow?

I came home today to see some more progress on the garden.

Avalon’s garden. It was almost as if, by watching it grow, I am watching her grow. She grows in my mind daily, in that other reality that seems more real than this one, my belly now so huge I can barely move without groaning. My little girl cramped and squished and ready to push out of her home within me and meet the world. I don’t get to experience that, nor does she. I don’t get to watch her grow, meet milestones, first ponytails, first finger painting, first day of school, first heartbreak… on and on until forever.

But I get to watch her garden grow.

I will water it, trim it, nurture it, love it.

It’s not enough, oh no, not nearly enough. But, because and only because she lived, it is something that grows.

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind! View all posts by Mother of All Things