never that word

Reading through other baby loss blogs… and I came across someone who phrased having a stillborn as “giving birth to a corpse”. The word makes my blood run cold and my heart beat faster. It’s a ghastly, appalling description of what is, actually, so ghastly and appalling. I just never thought about using that word before. It conjures up images of zombies emerging grey and bloody from the grave with worms crawling out of their eyes. I just want to keep saying, “my daughter was not a corpse” but of course, by the time she was born, she was dead. Still, I just can’t reconcile that word with her, my beautiful little girl with the heart-shaped face and delicate hands. I just can’t wrap my mind around “giving birth to a corpse”.

The only thing worse than hearing it is that I know it’s true, and I live with the reality of it every single second of every single day.


Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

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