The baby won’t stop crying. It started last night. She doesn’t sleep. Like ever. Today, for example she slept for 15 minutes, twice. She will stop crying to eat, sometimes. Then start again. She didn’t cry at all the first two days. Yes, we have tried everything under the sun. I have googled and googled. My mom can sometimes make her stop by jiggling her. It’s only temporary. She gets really stiff. She’s inconsolable.

I know that she is transitioning. She has been through so much more than she ever should have in 6 weeks of life. She is grieving and she is insecure. I don’t blame her for her outrage.

But I feel like a failure and like I’m breaking down. No sleep at all and working two 12 hour shifts in a row, I’m just sitting here crying. I’m not a good mom, that’s how I feel. I can’t make it better. No matter how much I research and how many techniques I try, she doesn’t feel better.

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

9 thoughts on “help.”

  1. Just sending support. I’ve been there with babies with nothing like her excuse. Swaddling, wearing (like a moby) and bouncing on an exercise ball helped sometimes, sometimes not. Deep breaths! You’re a lovely mama, hang in there with her.

  2. Could it be related to her drug exposure? In the one foster-care class I took, they described behavior like this (inconsolable crying, stiffness) as being pretty common in some drug-exposed babies.

    Of course, even if that’s true, it does nothing to help you and JoJo tonight. I wish I had suggestions. I just hate to see you feeling like a bad mom when it seems like the problem might be more physical than emotional, and not really within your control.

    1. I thought the same thing – could be related to the drug exposure. You’re not a bad mom. We all support you out here in cyberland – you can do this!

  3. It’s not colic, is it? That often starts around this age and can cause endless crying. I’m so sorry! But just the fact that you’re doing everything you can is proof that you ARE a good mom. Hang in there, friend.

  4. Yeah, it sounds like withdraw. I had that with one of my babies. But you should take her to the doctor just in case. Maybe she’s allergic to the formula or something.

    1. Oh. Also, if you aren’t using dr browns bottles do that. One of the social workers asked if I went to a seminar I drug exposure because in the seminar she went to, that’s what they recommended.

  5. This helped my daughter sometimes, but not always, when she was inconsolable. Try the 5 S’s: Swaddle, Side (hold either on their side or stomach just not on their back), Swing side to side, Shush (make shushing noise, baby shushing app, or white noise), Suck (either bottle, pacifier, finger, etc). Not sure if this will help…I agree with previous comments about this possibly being related to her drug exposure. Sorry you are going through this. Hope things get better.

    1. I’m reading “Happiest Baby on the Block” right now. If it happens again I’ll give it all I got, but my niece (a non-drug exposed baby in a very stable environment) often had crying spells like this and the 5 S’s, done textbook even, did NOT work. All babies are different though, right?

  6. Is it possible for you to take FMLA or similar leave from work so you can get adjusted with her, and maybe get some sleep yourself? Even just a couple of weeks? It seems cruel and unusual to have to work 12 hour shifts while caring for a drug-exposed newborn, whom you have just met and need to get to know! Thank goodness for your mom, but honey, you need to take care of yourself in order to take of a baby! Taking care of a newborn is difficult and exhausting even if you are home full time, so don’t beat yourself up for being exhausted and feeling helpless.

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