Unfortunately, I have not seen Moose since January 1st. His mom seemed really excited about getting his pics done, but when the day came she didn’t respond to my messages, and her phone wasn’t working. Now, she is responding to some of my messages about phone calls I’m still getting for Moose’s healthcare, but not responding about pics. I guess she doesn’t want to do them. It’s totally ok, because that’s her right, but I’m disappointed. I think (and dream) of Moose often, especially because he is my reference point for foster parenting. Everything I do with Jo Jo I compare with Moose. I remember doing things with Moose whenever I do them with Jo Jo. Moose may not have felt like mine, but I loved him and he made me a mom, in a practical hands-on sense, nevertheless.
I have to let my dream of being at least a little part of Moose’s life go. I know that he is safe and loved, and that is enough for me. Selfishly, I want to see him again and have an ongoing casual relationship with him, but I guess it’s not to be.
Mother of All Things 
I still have the same feelings about my first foster baby. I think about and miss her all the time.
That must be really difficult. Thinking of you.