Not only has my love life taken a turn for the worst and it’s as though I’ve lost my best friend, but my grandma is about to have surgery on her hand. I wish she wasn’t, she’s barely getting by as it is, and that’s with a lot of help. But today she went to some elder care doctor who treats my grandpa for Alzheimer’s disease, and this nurse practitioner there decided that what would be best for my grandparents would be to put them in a home.
I wish I had gone with them, because NO, ain’t gonna happen. I will burn every last bridge, I will cancel my cable and internet service and spend every last dime on additional help, before I send my grandparents anywhere. My grandpa can go to the bathroom on his own, shower on his own if you set it up for him, make himself coffee, get the mail, and turn on the TV. He can feed his dog and let him in and out. Take away his familiar surroundings, and he will TOTALLY get worse. It’s a bad, bad idea for him.
My mom is going to start staying at their house all the time instead of mine (we are next door). Hopefully my grandma’s hand will improve and she’ll be back to baseline after 8 weeks. Until then, my mom and I will just put in some extra time. I have all the baby stuff that I need already in place over there, so if I’m not working my mom and I can switch off, and Jo Jo will just be there with me. I’m not the first person in the world to take care of the elderly along with a baby! In fact, that’s pretty standard in most parts of the world. We are a multi-generational family, and we will stick together.
I told her tonight, “don’t worry grandma. Taking care of you is my number one priority!” Afterall, taking care of me was always hers.
Mother of All Things 
You are a wonderful woman.
I hate that so many people’s first reaction is to, ‘put them in a home.’
I know from reading above your grandparents are not in this state, but I want to make a point. When we were little, needed fed, butts wiped, faces cleaning, and our every need taken care of, they didn’t send us off somewhere!
Now I do understand some people need extra care that is provided at assisted living facilities that can only be provided by a medical professional, that is a different case.
Especially in your grandparents’ case, that is NOT the situation. I deeply admire you and your mother for your decision. Let them do all they can for themselves. Take that away, and you take away soo much more.
XOXO
Do you read creatingmotherhood.com? her archives are a mustread for you I think…