A few days ago, Jo Jo seemed cranky. Each day it has gotten worse. Now it seems that she is rarely happy, and instead of the baby who rarely cried and only fussed when ready to sleep, she is now a baby who rarely stops crying. She protests when I try to set her down, anywhere, but especially in the bouncer where she used to be happiest.
She has brief moments where her old self shines through, and she smiles or chuckles or gets absorbed in a toy. These moments have been few and far between. If I put her down for a minute, she cries hard, like someone just hurt her. She is eating just fine, pooping, and taking plenty of naps. She’s up a few times in the night but goes back to sleep. It’s mostly like she is just protesting all of the places she used to hang out: the bumbo, the bouncer, the jumper, the swing, the floor gym, the boppy. She wants nothing to do with it. She hates tummy time. She doesn’t want to lie flat.
What does she want???
Mostly I just feel bad, because I want her to feel good and to be happy. I usually tell people that I never want a sitter or to go anywhere without her because I genuinely enjoy spending time with her. There were minutes today when I enjoyed being with her so much I could cry. We went into the very warm lake and she splashed and kicked in the water. When she woke up from a nap she smiled and smiled at me. Moments like these make my heart melt and fill me with pride that she sees me as her mama. The crying spells break my heart because I want nothing more than to give her everything she wants and needs.
I had planned to just spend the whole day with her today, and that’s what I did. When she napped I rearranged and de-cluttered and cleaned my house. One of the best parts of my day was the package that I got in the mail from Solo Mama for my birthday! (Jo Jo also gets presents for my birthday, and those were just as great!)
Tomorrow will be busy, with court and other appointments. I hope my poor little baby starts to feel better, so the world can see both of our smiles more often.