on loss

I took care of a young woman with severe lupus that had affected her brain. Part of her medical history included a loss at 20 weeks. She kept saying to me from her hospital bed, “I was pregnant, I had a girl. But she died.” I kept saying, “I know sweetie, I know. I’m so sorry that happened.”

Today I opened up the photo of my bump at 17 weeks to show someone. I look at that photo with such pain and with such fondness. I want to reach through the screen and pat that belly. I want to reach through the screen and touch my daughter where she is still alive.

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

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