Yesterday I participated in my first “Walk to Remember”, in honor of Avalon. Joining me in solidarity were my two best friends and my sister (and niece, and Jo Jo). It was a perfect fall day, warm and sunny. I ran into people I knew, and had never known they’d lost a baby. During some of the speeches, I looked around and realized that most of the other moms were crying with me. It was amazing. I was finally, finally with my people. We all got it. We were all members of the same miserable club. It felt surreal and awful and wonderful.
I cried probably throughout the whole thing, with the exception of the actual walk from the speaker pavilion to the arboretum, where we planted a tree. On all sides were the trees planted in years gone by by the baby loss family. A song was sung. And afterward, wiping tears from my cheeks, I saw other moms sobbing in the arms of their loved ones. I wanted to stare because grieving out loud, with other moms, was so new to me. It was so validating, and refreshing.
I know that I will be going back, each and every year, for as long as I’m able.