a walk to remember

Yesterday I participated in my first “Walk to Remember”, in honor of Avalon. Joining me in solidarity were my two best friends and my sister (and niece, and Jo Jo). It was a perfect fall day, warm and sunny. I ran into people I knew, and had never known they’d lost a baby. During some of the speeches, I looked around and realized that most of the other moms were crying with me. It was amazing. I was finally, finally with my people. We all got it. We were all members of the same miserable club. It felt surreal and awful and wonderful.

I cried probably throughout the whole thing, with the exception of the actual walk from the speaker pavilion to the arboretum, where we planted a tree. On all sides were the trees planted in years gone by by the baby loss family. A song was sung. And afterward, wiping tears from my cheeks, I saw other moms sobbing in the arms of their loved ones. I wanted to stare because grieving out loud, with other moms, was so new to me. It was so validating, and refreshing. 

I know that I will be going back, each and every year, for as long as I’m able.

the sign
the sign
Speaker pavilion
Speaker pavilion
My sister making a leaf with a message for Avalon
My sister making a leaf with a message for Avalon
Best friend and Jo Jo making a leaf
Best friend and Jo Jo making a leaf
My other best friend with her name tag: "Auntie to Avalon"
My other best friend with her name tag: “Auntie to Avalon”
Scrapbooks of past years' walks
Scrapbooks of past years’ walks
The walk along the river through the arboretum
The walk along the river through the arboretum
Me, watching the tree planting dedication
Me, watching the tree planting dedication
My message to Avalon
My message to Avalon
My niece and I helping to plant the tree
My niece and I helping to plant the tree
The tree
The tree

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

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