Tomorrow is the big one-year anniversary of losing Avalon, but I have to work. That may be for the best… I mean, it will give me something to focus on. In fact, maybe I will be extra kind, and patient, and caring, and compassionate as a nurse in honor of her.
I have been struggling with what to do for this first anniversary of loss. I feel the urge to create some type of ritual that I can continue year after year, but what? Going to the cemetery seems strange, just right now, because I haven’t had her ashes actually put there. I wasn’t ready before, but I think now that I am. I need to call the cemetery burial guy about it but I’ve just been putting it off and putting it off. It would be nice to have that place, the graveyard, the place where my mother’s mothers’ mothers are buried, to go and just be with my daughter. I’ve kept her close for one year, on my nightstand, but I think it’s time to create that space that is special, and just ours.