one year

Thank you for all the well wishes and sympathetic thoughts today. Here are photos from sunset at the cemetery. I stood at her grave and the only words that would come to me (through tears) were, “I’m sorry.” Because no matter what anyone says, my body failed her, failed to keep her alive until she could stay alive on her own. It wasn’t my fault in the sense that it wasn’t my choice, but I know the fault lies with me. She was perfect. I know things don’t work that way, in the grand scheme of the universe, but I am sorry anyway.

I am just so sorry.

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Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

8 thoughts on “one year”

  1. You’ve done such a good job at honoring and remembering Avalon’s life, creating a space for her, and loving her. Thank you for sharing parts of this with us.

  2. I know I’m a couple days late, but I thought of you and Avalon over the weekend…Huge virtual hugs. I can’t believe it’s been a year for you too. Happy birthday, Avalon.

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