An injury

This evening Jo Jo was bitten by a dog, and the injuries are very minor, nothing a bandaid and soap and water can’t fix.

But oh, oh my heart when she screamed and I saw blood on her hand. As an ICU nurse I’m naturally very calm when chaos is erupting, but that is outwardly. Inside, I completely fell apart as my baby screamed and screamed while I held pressure to stop the bleeding.

It could have been so much worse than a few small cuts. Her little baby hand is delicate, a finger could’ve been bitten off, or at least needed stitches. This dog does not necessarily like her, and stays away from her when we’re there. She has petted him and reached for him many times, and he’s never snapped at her. Well, from now on he will be kept on a closed room away from her of we’re there! I really don’t think he his a bad dog, just a dog who is too anxious to be around small kids.

It scared the shit out of me, and I felt so guilty for… not seeing it coming, somehow. Not knowing I should always keep that dog in a closed room. Not being right behind her and taking her away from him before she reached for him. I felt like I failed as a mom, because it’s my job to protect her. I can’t bear her pain, her outrage that the world had let her down, that she had merely reached out in love and interest and been hurt.

This girl is my heart, and when she hurts I feel it in my bones. This is motherhood, your heart in someone else’s body.

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

6 thoughts on “An injury”

  1. Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear she got bit bit relieved it was minor. My momma heart started racing as I saw the first sentence. A friend’s daughter was bit when she was one, full on the face. It was two Christmases ago and an ambulance had to be called, CPS, surgery… I work with a Rot and a Jack and am very cautious with them. Because the parents have taught the girl to climb all over the Rot, she has no understanding of respecting his body. The Jack is very anxious and touchy. They stay in the laundry room (or outside in nice weather) when the babies are awake and can come out during naps.

  2. Oh I know how you feel so well but try not to blame yourself! There is no way you can protect her from everything in the world, as much as you might wish to. It kills me too…when my son gets hurt, emotionally and physically.

    My son is autistic so the hurts are many. I’ve trained myself to think of his experiences as just that…life experience. Not all of them are pleasant as we all know…Jo Jo just got one of the scary ones out of the way. Now she’ll know that if a dog isn’t friendly, not to pet him/her and, even better, she’ll know that even though it hurt to be bitten, everything was still okay in the end. You were there for her when she was hurting and she will remember that. You’re a good mom. xx

  3. Your outward calm and your inward agony must have been such a conflicting mindset – but one I’m sure you’ve long since mastered as an ICU nurse! It’s so different when it’s YOUR baby… I can be so calm when others are hurting, but when they’re mine? Major struggle. It sounds like you did the very best you could, and the important thing Jojo will remember is how you were there for her when things went wrong!

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