Last night I suddenly felt very anxious that the adoption is not final yet. We have a permanency hearing in about four weeks, and I’m so hoping to get a finalization date on that day. It is so unnerving to me that Jo Jo is still a “foster child”, when actually she has had a family who loves her completely for almost a year now. She has been the apple of our eye, and the light of our lives, ever since we knew she was coming to stay with us. Before she had even been with me for a whole week, and I had learned that her bio mom had left the state and refused services, I was putting in my bid to adopt. She was my daughter, I knew it in my heart. My whole family loved her instantly, as if I had given birth to her myself. I know that we were extremely lucky to get TPR before she had even been in foster care for a year, and I also know that adoption can take some time as well, even if it’s a cut and dry one.
But still. It is sometimes hard to sleep at night knowing that I don’t have official custody of her. I don’t have the certainty that I desperately crave, and that she deserves.
To my knowledge, I have signed all the necessary paperwork, and just have a physical form that will be completed on Monday by my doctor. My mother’s is already filled out (required since she lives with us). I guess we are just waiting for things to be approved/returned by the state. There’s a lot more to it than I knew. For example, some dude in our state technically has custody of all permanent wards, and has to sign off on their adoptions. I guess someone can do it on his behalf in our case, since she has been with me for over 6 months and my adoption license has been current and complete for so long. It’s just weird to think that there is a stranger out there who is in charge of my daughter’s fate, moreso than I am.
Please send good energy and positive thoughts toward the final stages of permanency for my baby!