in a rush

Last night I suddenly felt very anxious that the adoption is not final yet. We have a permanency hearing in about four weeks, and I’m so hoping to get a finalization date on that day. It is so unnerving to me that Jo Jo is still a “foster child”, when actually she has had a family who loves her completely for almost a year now. She has been the apple of our eye, and the light of our lives, ever since we knew she was coming to stay with us. Before she had even been with me for a whole week, and I had learned that her bio mom had left the state and refused services, I was putting in my bid to adopt. She was my daughter, I knew it in my heart. My whole family loved her instantly, as if I had given birth to her myself. I know that we were extremely lucky to get TPR before she had even been in foster care for a year, and I also know that adoption can take some time as well, even if it’s a cut and dry one.

But still. It is sometimes hard to sleep at night knowing that I don’t have official custody of her. I don’t have the certainty that I desperately crave, and that she deserves.

To my knowledge, I have signed all the necessary paperwork, and just have a physical form that will be completed on Monday by my doctor. My mother’s is already filled out (required since she lives with us). I guess we are just waiting for things to be approved/returned by the state. There’s a lot more to it than I knew. For example, some dude in our state technically has custody of all permanent wards, and has to sign off on their adoptions. I guess someone can do it on his behalf in our case, since she has been with me for over 6 months and my adoption license has been current and complete for so long. It’s just weird to think that there is a stranger out there who is in charge of my daughter’s fate, moreso than I am.

Please send good energy and positive thoughts toward the final stages of permanency for my baby!

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

7 thoughts on “in a rush”

  1. I’m having very similar feelings about Primo right now. I want him out of foster care now! I know it’s coming, but I can’t wait for him to be officially and legally a part of our family!

  2. Definitely sending good vibes your way. It really is a waiting game, but I hope you get the certainty that both you and your daughter deserve.

  3. I don’t even know you guys, and I consider her your daughter. I can’t imagine the fear of knowing someone could just change their mind! Crossing fingers and toes for finality, and soon!

  4. One of the things that was distressing to hear at the adoption via foster care orientation I went to is that in California, a fast adoption takes 2 years! And that is even with the fact that the children that are placed with families wanting to adopt are ones that have been identified as having a very low probability of reunifying with their biological families.

    I can only imagine how challenging the process must be. Hoping that your gotcha day is soon!

    1. I rolled the dice, in the sense that I said I was open to any child that met my age limit, whether they were re-unification, or adoption. Basically, with babies, no one really knows right away what the bio family will or won’t do. If you want a guarantee, you have to be open to older children.

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