feeling down about adoption

When TPR happened in January, I was told over and over how “quick” this adoption would be compared to most. I was optimistic that by summer, I’d finally be my girl’s legal mom. Now? I’m hoping cautiously that it will take place in 2014. I’m not even confident that I’ll get a court date in the current calendar year, and am now accepting that I may need to do a “paper adoption” if I want to accomplish this. (They would finalize the adoption and mail me the papers, there would be no court ceremony.) I’d be a little bummed to not do the court ceremony, but I’d be way more upset if this adoption dragged on into winter. We  can always just get the papers and have a party. I am already her mom and she is already my daughter in the most important ways. We will mark the day and celebrate it, even if it isn’t in court with a judge.

There is nothing worse than knowing that if your child is in the hospital, or has a relative who gets a good lawyer and suddenly wants her, you are majorly fucked. It’s the worst feeling.

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

5 thoughts on “feeling down about adoption”

  1. TPR in Feb, they told us the adoption could be done by May if everyone did their job. We just got our county adoption worker this week! Not sure when the adoption will happen and I have the same fears you do. I would like to have the paper option about now, but that isn’t an option where we are. Good Luck!

  2. I hear you! We just had a relative pop back in and our worker left Friday 😦 Not sure what is going to happen…. I don’t think she has any chance of getting the girls, but she supposedly can delay our adoption 😦

  3. I thought you could get a date this summer (but not August)? If this is dragging out even more, do the paper adoption. I know it’s not as memorable as doing a court ceremony, but you can celebrate in your own ways.

    1. This summer would mean this month or next month. We don’t have consent, let alone a submitted petition and a date from the judge… if there are no dates in August then it goes into fall. I just don’t want to wait!

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