freaking the f*** out

I emailed our adoption worker to let her know that I am getting very anxious about the fact that this adoption is taking so long, so I would like to switch to the paper adoption and forgo scheduling the court procedure if it would be quicker. I got an automatic “out of the office for the next 10+ days” message, so I passed it on to my foster worker and she forwarded it to the adoptions supervisor.

The supervisor said we’d have to be patient because, get this, the court may take a while to resolve the paternity issue. What paternity issue??? Apparently bio mom listed someone else as the father on the birth certificate. Not to worry, says the adoptions supervisor. Nothing to worry about, we will just have to be patient for a while longer than we thought.

Ef a bunch of “nothing to worry about”. Both bio parents’ rights were terminated in January, but if someone else is the legal father (even if not the bio father) that person will get a say, too.

If I wasn’t at work right now, I would just be crying. I don’t think I will be able to eat again until this potential legal father issue disappears.

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

6 thoughts on “freaking the f*** out”

  1. This is total bullshit. Someone dropped the ball. They should have immediately paternity tested the man on the birth certificate and any man acting as a father when Jojo was born. The judge will be pissed when s/he finds out, that they went through a termination trial without determining paternity?? WTF. I would be freaking out too, but please just take the words of my caseworker as comfort: “The name on the birth certificate is almost never the father. Just like the Jerry Springer show.”

    I know every state is different, but since the advent of the DNA test, “legal father” is more than just a name on a birth cert. It has to be DNA. More importantly, that legal-but-not-bio father would have to want to raise the child, which also rarely happens.

    Good luck and I would be calling Jojo’s lawyer ASAP.

      1. Yes, her GAL, call him/her right away. Our GAL is often left out to the loop because the SWs don’t always contact them with vital info.

        Good luck, I hope this is just a temporary bump in the road to JoJo’s adoption.

      2. Yes, her GAL. So that s/he can be fully informed of the situation, but also so you can ask legal questions about paternity and get some insight.

  2. Omg that’s terrifying! The words much have stopped your heart for a moment. I’ll be over here wishing it all resolves very quickly.

    I agree with the other commenter. Someone dropped the ball. Stay as informed as you can. Xx

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