The good news hit my inbox early this morning: the judge signed the adoption petition, and we have a date in two weeks! I spent the day at work, but in a flurry of side activities, such as sending out the adoption announcements (I had previously created in Shutterfly), and brainstorming for the party (the following week).
It is wonderful to finally be able to plan. To know that there is a day, and time, and something finite to get ready for. To celebrate. I am happy. I am going to be a legal mom, a mom to a living child, a mom on someone’s birth certificate. I am going to be able to take her out of the country, to decide who takes care of her should something happen to me, and to make decisions for her should *god forbid* something happen to her medically or psychologically. I am going to be a full and complete mom, without foster or baby loss always pushed in front, like a caveat, or a loophole.
My daughter has spent 473 days (1 year, 3 months, 17 days) of her 17 months of life in foster care. She has spent 10 months of her existence (including conception through birth and birth through now) with her birth mom, and 16 months of her existence with me. She spent 6 months of her life as a “permanent ward of the state”. She will spend 2 weeks of her life as an adoptive placement. And then… she will spend the rest of her life as officially (legally) a part of her forever family.