my open adoption faux pax

Well, I did something to sour the good relationship between myself and M’s bio family (aunt and extended family who live in my area). The aunt mentioned she might throw her own daughter a birthday party last weekend, and later left a facebook that it would be on Saturday and they might give M some presents for her birthday. (Remember, they didn’t show to M’s birthday party after weeks of saying they would.) Then I didn’t hear anything about these plans for quite some time, and quite honestly, didn’t think it was a big deal and since she didn’t mention it again, I didn’t pursue it. Then I got busy, we got invited to a waterpark, and I forgot all about it.

I got a facebook message from the aunt almost a week later saying that they bought M a cake and presents and we never showed up. I was surprised that they bought her a cake as if they had an actual party for M, as that wasn’t really the impression I’d had when she’d mentioned it a month ago. That being said, I did let the ball drop and I didn’t check that facebook page (got busy and forgot), and didn’t attempt to text the aunt, either. Anyway, she seems pissed, and while I don’t think it’s totally my fault, I also think I could’ve done more to clarify what the plan was before I just decided there wasn’t one.

So what can I do but apologize, tell them I misunderstood, and try to schedule a day for a visit? So that’s what I’m doing. No response yet.

*Sigh*. This stuff isn’t easy, you know? But for my kid, it’s what I do.

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

4 thoughts on “my open adoption faux pax”

  1. Communication is a 2-way street. You couldn’t have read her mind, and she didn’t give you any of those details or bother to confirm. You can only apologize and let her know you didn’t do this intentionally!

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