it’s officially “no”

I was completely surprised yesterday when I got a voicemail from a relative placement social worker from Hermanito’s county of birth. She wanted to know if I wanted him… I am on the other side of the USA, a rather large country, and I don’t want to compete with local relatives or foster parents, because an interstate placement can easily take a year or more. I can’t bear the thought of taking him from a foster family at that point! Of course, his grandparents are still in play, but, surprise! They don’t speak any English, they speak Cambodian. So staying in touch will be challenging. I hope very much that they are fine, upstanding people and the baby can be raised in his Cambodian culture with access to contact with his father. His father, by the way, has been participating in visitation, but Cindy has not *sigh*.

I am thinking that Cindy has completely given up. Her attempts to “try” and participate in ordered services or visitations have been less and less with each kid. I am heartbroken for her, I am furious on behalf of her children, I am saddened by the life she’s lived and her inability to rise above it. I don’t know if I would have risen very far above it either, in similar circumstances.

Part of me really wished he had been born here, and I could raise M with one of her siblings. That didn’t happen, though, and I’ve been trying my hardest to keep in contact. Honestly, I love this kid. I may never be his mom, but I’m his sister’s mom, and I waited for his birth and have worried and cared about him since I first new of his existence. I hope his foster parents will contact me and share a little of his life with me, I really do.

I guess his name should be changed from “Hermanito” to  “Pa-oan Proh” (little brother in Cambodian).

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

4 thoughts on “it’s officially “no””

  1. I’m so glad you’ve done as much as you have to keep updated on where he is. I really hope his paternal grandparents are good people, and take good care of him, if he ends up with them.

    In the meantime, I am hopeful that his foster parents will keep in touch. Do you know anything about the family he is currently placed with?

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