I finally contacted the cemetery caretaker (or whatever his title is) and scheduled a day and time to put Avalon’s ashes in the ground under her headstone.
I’m not sure what else to say about it, or what to really even think. I just know I don’t want to leave her ashes sitting on a shelf in my bedroom, an unsanctified place where she is overlooked. I want her to be in a place that serves to memorialize the fact that she was, she existed, she was loved.
It will just be me, and my mom probably, and hopefully someone can watch M for me. I have a few new decorations for the site and will bring some flowers. I don’t know what I’ll say, or how long I’ll be there. I just know that I’m going to do it, and after that it will truly be a place for me to grieve.