“Hangry” is now a thing for people who get super mean and grouchy when they’re hungry. I need a word for being this way when I’m exhausted and trying to fall asleep at the end of a long day, but can’t because my two-year-old is constantly claiming “potty”, wiggling around, taking her clothes off, performing WWF moves in the bed, and sitting up wide-eyed at every noise. I seriously get so irritated. All of my patience has been drained, and it’s after 10pm (and we start the process at 9pm, yes the same routine every night), and she is more awake than ever.
If I put her in her crib, to do whatever the heck she wants (don’t care if she talks to herself), she screams and cries and begs “Mommyyyyy…. Mommmmyyyy” and then cries for “daaadaaa” (grandma) in piteous wails that break my heart. No way I could sleep listening to that. Sometimes she tricks me into thinking she’s falling asleep, with long minutes of silence and even breathing (during which I’m thinking, yes! Yes! This is it! We’re finally going to sleep!) when suddenly, BAM!!! She brings the bottom half of her body up off the bed and slams it with the force of a Mac truck into my abdomen. To which I howl, and jump up, and can’t look at her for several minutes, I’m so mad. She tries to then tell me she’s sorry and give me kisses, but I’m about 0.5 seconds away from locking her in the bedroom (to tear it to pieces) while I sleep as obliviously as possible in the bathtub.
Yes, she has her normal one hour nap (which she still needs if she’s going to be anything but a monster by 5pm) and not too late in the day, she gets lots of outdoor activity, but it doesn’t seem to matter. She’s just not sleepy! Then she tosses and turns all night, waking easily, calling for me, threatening to get up. It’s serious guys, this is not working out.
Please, please, please be a short phase…