I’m the mother I never thought I’d be

I’ve been googling the hell out of my phone. “Iodine deficiency” will lead you to information about how it affects the thyroid, “bromine or bromated” will lead you to information about the toxin that is present in the vast majority of our baked goods, and how it affects iodine absorption. And on and on and on. I’m glad the pediatrician has given me accurate information, I’m glad that we have a clue as to what is going on with my daughter’s weight gain and possibly behavior, but…

I never expected to be this kind of parent!

What kind of parent is that? The kind of parent who sends her kid to school with snacks from home because the school food is absolute crap. The kind of parent who demands references and credentials and still isn’t comfortable with a creepy character the school just hired. The kind of parent who worries about birthday parties, family gatherings, or playdates because “what if they offer her cheese? or bread? and I have to say no?” To be honest, I always thought those types of parents were control freaks. My kid wasn’t going to be the weirdo with nut allergies and a hovering mother. My kid would have everything in moderation, enjoy the holiday junk food binge, and be relaxed about eating out.

Well, life decided to show me what a close-minded a-hole I was being, didn’t it? Once again, my daughter is my greatest teacher. I realize now that people have legitimate reasons to tightly monitor and control what goes into their child’s body. There are for-real toxins and immediate consequences for consuming some of this stuff. There are bad things that happen when we leave our children with neighbors and relatives who we are assume are safe. There are usually good and well-thought out reasons behind parenting decisions of every kind, which is just another reason why we should all cut each other some slack!

Author: Mother of All Things

Mother by fostering, adoption, and marriage... wife to my best friend... Bay area critical care nurse... travel in my blood, reading in my bones, clean food on my mind!

8 thoughts on “I’m the mother I never thought I’d be”

  1. Last night I gave Dylan a sesame crunch (the ones that are just can sugar and sesame seeds). she chewed on it for a few minutes and then handed it back (not normal behaviour for her). She broke out immediately in a rash all over her face and started wheezing.
    Of course I was worried about her immediate wellbeing but I also had this extensive train of thought that was imagining every scenario where a sesame allergy would impact our lives and how and when I’d have to be extra worried about her.
    We kept an eye on her and it settled down but I’ll bring her in to talk with the doctor but it was a huge realization that we don’t get to pick and close what our parenting is like, sometimes situation will dictate it. We can still be the best version possible though!

  2. This made me laugh. Probably because you likely thought I was one of those paranoid food restricting parents. It has been fun watching you get serious about the foods you all eat. Besides gluten, MSG gives me migraines and when Wallace accidentally had some, he was up fussing and whining every 20-40 minutes ALL night. I’m paranoid about lead and toxins and chemicals, too. But eventually you get to this place where you manage the things you can and try not to freak out about the rest. Have you looked into natural remedies to help support her thyroid along with iodine and diet? I have a ton of natural health books I reference would gladly dig through them for ideas for you to consider. I helped Wallace’s liver wth to glycerine based tinctures.

  3. Yeah, I never thought I’d have to be “that” mom when it comes to food restrictions, either. But here we are! I think once you get used to it, it just becomes a way of life.

    Sometimes I have a moment of sadness when Evelyn can’t eat cupcakes at school that a friend brought for their birthday celebration, or thinking about how she’ll never know what it means to gorge on delicious tasting cheese. But…it could be worse! I’m just grateful she’s not anaphylactic. That would be so hard! Then we’d REALLY have to be “those” parents who hover.

  4. Sounds like you’re the kind of mom who really cares! I very unexpectedly had to become that mother too. My son couldn’t even eat rice or bananas, to say nothing of dairy, soy, and wheat, and it was a nightmare. We had to rotate foods so he only had the foods her could eat every fourth day. And he was three. Fun times!

    I just say that to give you the background that you *will* hit your stride with all of this, and you *will* be so glad that you waded through all this neck-deep crap to make sure M has what she needs.

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