Thanks for all of your great advice! It helped me to be more mindful. It makes total sense that she feels so out of control without her normal routine. It helps so much to understand what’s going on with her and why she is being so demanding. I assumed she wouldn’t experience culture shock the way adults do (why I assumed this I have no idea) but thinking back I had terrible culture shock and home sickness my first time here, so much so that I went home early!
We have two problems here. The first and biggest is that we don’t have our own space (hotel room, apartment, etc). We are so lucky to have such wonderful friends here, but I crave a space of our own because I also feel like I have little control over the flow of our day. Next time we will be here longer and rent a furnished apartment. I even plan to drive my own scooter! We need to start our day with some kind of normal without the well-meaning advice of others or the stress of staying in someone else’s space.
I felt like I didn’t have jet lag, but I probably did. My impatience and disconnection from our usual mother-daughter relationship probably impacted her more than I realized.
I thought of a third: people keep feeding M all kinds of sweets, so not only does she have jet lag and culture shock, you all know what chemicals can do to her!
There is some pressure here to go here and go there with different friends. There’s not enough time to make everyone happy and preserve my sanity. I don’t want to disrespect anyone but there are times I just want to do what I want to do… Go shopping by myself, go out with friends (with M), or just do something by ourselves. If we had our own place I think a lot of this stress would be removed, as we would not be dependent on anyone for our daily routines. Yes, I’m Miss Independent so it’s no surprise that my daughter is the same, I guess. And even less surprising that she also wants some control over her day, considering how much I also crave it!
Thank god my meetini (formal, ritualized best friend) is here visiting her family, and she took my kiddo for a few hours so I could go wandering around with one of my friends from my trekking days, doing my favorite thing: riding on the back of a bike through the city!
One thought on “hanging in”
I had a feeling change in food might be a contributing factor but didn’t want to mention it and sound critical. Wallace had a twizzler (wheat, sugar, red food dye) at a halloween thing a couple weeks ago. The next day he had a two hour fit. It was horrible but I was able to stay pretty calm, wheh. It is hard finding that middle ground of making sure your kid’d diet is what they need and not offending people or depriving your kid (guilt!). Not having your own space and feeling in control of your days sounds like a huge factor. Hopefully figuring that out will help you both settle in better, talk it out with her too. Hope you had a good day doing your own thing!