Well since you already bought them…
Me: Yes, on Christmas there will be presents under the tree, from me, and grandma, and-
M: Not from you, mommy, from Santa!
Me: From Santa but also from me.
M: NO! I don’t want presents from you! Only from Santa!
Me: So should I take the presents I bought back to the store?
M: Wait, are they in the trunk right now?
Mom asks for a lot
Me: Are you going to get mommy something for Christmas?
M: Yes. A glove.
Me: One glove? Can I maybe get two gloves, one for each hand?
M: Oh mommy, alright. Fine.
Been there done that
Me: After Christmas, we’re going to go on a big trip, to a place that’s a lot warmer. We’re going to a place called California.
Nothing is as fun to say as “poop”
Me: How was school? Did you do anything fun?
M: Yes. I played with… POOP! *wild laughter*
Me: Ewww. Yucky. Did you play with any friends?
M: Yes, my friend POOP!
Me: What did you have for lunch? (Should’ve stopped here.)
The Fossil Book
Every night we read stories, and for some time M has been choosing to read a beginner reader book (ages 6-7) which has chapters and a few small pictures on each page and it’s all about fossils. The four types of fossils, the way fossils are made, and dug up, and classified, etc. It’s like a textbook, very dry. But damn if she doesn’t make me read every single page, and linger over every single image of a mollusk.
The Tooth Fairy
My kiddo is obsessed with the tooth fairy. How this started, I cannot say. She thinks that she needs to collect money “for the Tooth Fairy” in spite of my many attempts to explain that the tooth fairy brings money in exchange for a tooth. She also does not want to brush her teeth because she wants her teeth to fall out so the tooth fairy will come, so I spend lots of time trying to convince her that the tooth fairy won’t come for dirty teeth. She thinks when she does lose a tooth, that the tooth fairy will bring her “gold chocolate coins”. And finally, when she grows up she is going to be a tooth fairy because clearly money is involved.