It’s been two and a half months since you came to live with me, and in that time you have grown up so much. You spent so much time in the Moby wrap and you slept in a swaddle, and now you are almost too big for your bassinet, and sleeping unwrapped. I rarely carry you in the Moby now, unless we are doing shopping that will take a while. You became a big smiler who loves to squeal in response to conversation directed at you. You started reaching for objects and sucking on your fingers. You got big enough to sit in a bumbo and try out the Jenny Jump Up.
Everyone who sees you thinks you are one of the most beautiful babies ever. I dress you up in so many cute outfits because I can’t get enough of how sweet and cute you are. Your big brown eyes are always intently fixed on something. In fact, you will seriously study a person or a toy for a long time. I think for the most part you have a thoughtful, deep, and pensive personality, although you do not freak out if we try new things. For example, you still don’t necessarily know what to think of your dips in the lake, but you are always a good sport about it! You don’t cry, you just ball up your toes and hands and think about it really hard.
With every day I know with more and more certainty that you are my daughter and I’m your mom. I would do anything to keep you safe, happy, and yes, with me. I celebrate every little new thing you learn, and cherish every grin, sleepy sigh, and happy coo. You’ve given me the motherhood I’ve dreamed of having, with all of its joys and exhaustions. I hope that you learn to swim, love to read, and always feel safe and secure at home. Most of all, I want you to grow up to be the kind of girl who is not afraid to try doing the things that make you happy, because you always know your mommy is right here for you, when things go right and especially when things go wrong.
If for some reason you had to leave me, I would never ever forget the happiness of these days with you, and I would never stop loving you with every bit of love a mother can have for her child.
2 thoughts on “Dear Jo Jo”
Have you thought about filing for permanent custody? Then after the birthparents “abandon” her after a year you can file for adoption. I know in my county they are more willing to give foster parents custody to get them out of the system, without the “severity” of adoption.
I have only had her for less than three months… it is likely that her case will result in TPR and I will be able to petition to adopt, so I’m not sure that filing for permanent custody at this point makes much sense.