We had a lovely vacation on the west coast of Michigan but when we came home, reality caught up fast. Not only was the house a mess, my grandmother was mistreated by a nursing home staff member, she was being admitted to the ER for possible stroke, and the hospital would not let us in because it was on lockdown following not one shooting in our small city, but two, in less than 24 hours. I just received an email from M’s school regarding the safety of the children and their policies and procedures for what to do if there is the threat of gun violence in the area around the school.
Of course, the Uber driver shooting happened, Orlando happened, and the black men who were murdered by police still keeps happening, and Dallas happened. And I’m always like, what the fuck is going on in this country right now?? But we never think it’s going to be happening in a little, far out-of-the way place like the one we live in. We never think it will effect our schools, our hospitals, and our daily life. Last night four people were gunned down in the nearest city (where M goes to school) and today someone was shot while pumping gas in a different area of the same city. It’s unreal.
And yes, my grandmother was verbally accosted by an LPN at her assisted living home, which she just moved into last week. They have been withholding pain medication from her, so we filed a complaint yesterday and as I was about to go up there today to speak with them again and continue the process of addressing it, I received word that she was somnolent and being admitted to the ER, after her brother stopped by and noted that she was difficult to rouse. Thanks to the gun violence that is now somehow a part of life in ‘Merica, we could not even enter the ED at first. When they did allow us in it was a madhouse and security was everywhere.
And yes the house was a mess. I was expecting that, but what I wasn’t expecting was an old bowl of cat food containing maggots to be sitting on the counter. Yes, things get that bad while I’m away. Yes, I really do have to clean my heart out whenever I come back from anywhere, even work.
My stress level is THROUGH THE ROOF.
M is taking a nap on the chair right now. I was going to send her home with my mom and stay with my grandma for a bit. But M was breaking down, begging me to stay with her and refusing to leave me. My heart couldn’t take it, so I went home with her and left my grandma. She wasn’t very responsive anyway. I hate that I have to choose, but looking at my little girl napping next to me, so comforted by and in need of my presence at this moment, I know I made the right choice. I know it’s a choice my grandma would understand.